Me: So the pain is gone, but no more balls? Your balls are just gone?Īssault I had tonight, after walking into the blood on the cockroach infested floor of the apartment. Me: And they gave you some pills for the pain right? Now my pain is gone, but my balls are too. Him: Well, I went to the hospital cause my balls hurt. We got the call for testicle problems if you will. Him: Yea, she stopped breathing for 30 minutes.Ībout 6 months ago. This one is from tonight about their 1 month old premie, supposed DIB. Me: Ok, is that herpecyphillis type a or c? Me: Any medical problems sir? Asthma, bronchitis, emphysema, seizures, hypertension, herpecyphillis? Somehow I managed to keep a straight face for most of the transport, however after we dropped him off I collapsed laughing. I asked the patient "Sir, do you mean an iron?" and he replied "Yeah! One of 'dem smoothies!"Īt this point we moved him to the ambulance for a more complete assessment. The Cop and I just look at each other in shock and amusement. When he said this he also pantomimed someone ironing clothes. Pt: No! She hit me with a smoothie! You know, like you smooth (smoov) your clothes with! I demand you arrest her!Ĭop: Sir, we generally don't arrest people for throwing their drinks. Me: (playing along) where did she hit you? I look over the patient and observe that he does not appear to be covered in anything that looks like a smoothie. Pt: She hit me with a smoothie!!! (pronounced "smoovie")Ĭop: That is what we are trying to figure out.
Me: Sir, I'm a medic with the ambulance, what is your name. As I walk up the officer gives me a very exasperated look, which didn't bode well with me. There is a police officer standing with each.
My partner goes to the female, I go to the male. We get there and decided to divide and conquer. We are called to an assault late in the evening, police on scene. Both patients were slightly intoxicated and spoke with heavy accents.
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